The real reason why introverts are often ignored

Introduction

Why are introverts often ignored?

Did you know that introverts make up an estimated 25% to 40% of our population?*

Yet, in most workplaces, it looks as though everybody is an extrovert!

It can be overwhelming, especially if you are an introvert. In a world that often celebrates extroverted qualities like sociability, assertiveness, and outspokenness, introverts can sometimes feel like they don’t quite fit in. 

This societal preference for extroversion, often referred to as the “extrovert ideal,” can exert significant pressure on introverts to conform to these standards, even when it goes against their natural inclinations. 

It’s essential to recognize that both introverts and extroverts possess unique strengths and qualities that can lead to success in their own right. 

In this blog, we’ll dig deeper into the extrovert ideal, its historical origins, and the misconceptions surrounding introverts and provide valuable tips for introverts to thrive in today’s world.

Let’s get started. Shall we?

Historical origins of extroversion as a desired trait

Our modern-day workplaces are often characterized by extroverted behavior and communication. But believe it or not, this has not always been the case.

In the past, people were not as outgoing or assertive as they are today in most workplaces. 

This trend of extroversion is relatively new and has only emerged after the First Industrial Revolution that occurred in the mid-17th century, as pointed out by Susan Cain in her book “Quiet.”

In fact, you’d be surprised to know that extroverted and gregarious individuals were often viewed as lacking intelligence. So, to say, they were perceived as being empty vessels that made a lot of noise. But this perception changed after the Industrial Revolution. 

You may wonder if what I say is true at all. But allow me to explain:

If you examined most poetry, art, or literature from past eras, you’ll understand what I mean. They offer a good representation or reflection of the culture of that time. 

Poems like Robert Frost’s “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” and William Wordsworth’s “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud,” written in 1804, convey a sense of inward qualities, seriousness, and bliss of solitude — characteristics typically associated with introversion.

In contrast, take a look at the popular songs of the 21st century. There’s so much clamor (not necessarily in a negative way) for self-promotion, attention, and visibility — characteristics typically associated with extroversion. This disparity in art and literature reveals the contrasting cultures of the past and present workplaces.

So, what event or development in history caused us to place such a high value on extroversion, which we celebrate so much today?

The Rise of The Extrovert Ideal

The concept of the extrovert ideal can be traced back to a significant shift in societal values – the transition from a “Culture of Character” to a “Culture of Personality.”

Culture of Character

In the Culture of Character, people placed a high value on the inner qualities and virtues of a person, rather than their outward appearance or social skills. 

The ideal self in this culture was characterized by moral virtues such as honesty, integrity, responsibility, and seriousness, among others — the kind of characteristics we typically associate with introverted individuals, as they tend to value introspection, reflection, and self-awareness.

Individuals who lived by these virtues were considered to possess a strong character and were highly respected in society. 

Culture of Personality

The Culture of Personality, on the other hand, was a stark contrast to the Culture of Character, which emerged in the early 20th century and prioritized external appearances and social skills over inner virtues. 

This cultural shift placed greater emphasis on external qualities such as social skills, charm, and popularity, over internal virtues and qualities like honesty, integrity, and compassion. 

The Culture of Personality was characterized by an increased focus on social interaction and the desire to be liked by others. People were encouraged to cultivate an outgoing, confident, and gregarious persona, and to prioritize social skills over other qualities. 

This cultural shift was reflected in the media of the time, which often portrayed the ideal self as someone who was charming, charismatic, and popular. 

As a result of this shift in values, people began to see themselves more as performers, constantly seeking to present themselves in the best possible light to others. The ideal self was no longer someone who possessed strong inner qualities like wisdom or morality, but rather someone who could project a likable and outgoing personality. This cultural trend had a profound impact on society, shaping the way people interacted with one another and the values they held dear.

What drove this shift from a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality?

This shift from character to personality was largely driven by the needs of businesses seeking employees with outgoing personalities capable of promoting and selling products. 

As the economy evolved, businesses started to look for employees who could not only perform their duties but also have a positive impact on the company’s image. This resulted in a shift from valuing character traits like integrity, honesty, and hard work to focusing on personality traits like charisma, confidence, and sociability. This change was mainly driven by the need for employees with outgoing personalities who could promote and sell products, improve customer experience, and establish relationships with clients.

Consequently, parents and schools, too, became increasingly aware of the importance of personality development in children. They began to actively encourage children to work on their personalities, emphasizing the need to be outgoing, confident, and assertive. 

This shift in focus came at the expense of character development, with shyness being viewed as a negative trait that could potentially hinder social and financial success. 

Schools and parents urged children to break out of their shells, to be more social, and to be less afraid of taking risks. This shift in perspective had a significant impact on society, contributing to the rise of extroversion as a desirable trait and the decline of introversion as a valued personality trait.

Buttt… there’s a catch here

What do the experts say?

Contrary to the prevailing extrovert ideal, research has consistently shown that personality traits do not determine one’s success in life.

Here’s why:

If we looked at the most accomplished individuals throughout history, including Bill Gates, Charles Schwab, Brenda Barnes, James Copeland, Moses, Van Gogh, Mahatma Gandhi, and Charles Darwin, they all identified themselves as introverts. 

And even though it may seem like the introverted nice guys finish last, studies suggest otherwise — that nice guys do win in the long term. 

Read this blog to find out more: Do Nice Guys Finish Last? NOT TRUE, say experts.

This underscores the fact that introverts can excel in fields requiring independent thinking and a reflective approach to problem-solving. However, due to societal biases, introverts may still find themselves underestimated or perceived as misfits in certain situations.

Tips for Introverts

If you identify as an introvert, it’s crucial to understand that your personality is not a hindrance to your success but a unique asset. Here are some valuable tips for embracing your introversion and thriving in a world that often values extroverted traits:

(1) Recognize Your Strengths:

Introverts often excel as good listeners, deep thinkers, and independent workers. Recognize and harness these valuable qualities in various aspects of your life.

(2) Be True to Yourself:

Resist the pressure to change your personality to conform to the extrovert ideal. Authenticity is key to personal growth and fulfillment.

(3) Find Time to Recharge:

Introverts frequently need solitude and quiet time to recharge their energy. Prioritize self-care and schedule moments of solitude in your daily routine.

(4) Seek Supportive Environments:

Look for environments that value and appreciate introverts. Consider joining small groups or organizations that encourage independent work.

(5) Practice Self-Advocacy:

Don’t hesitate to speak up for your needs as an introvert. Whether it’s asking for privacy or requesting time to think before responding, advocating for yourself is essential.

Conclusion:

Introverts are not misfits; they are individuals with unique strengths and perspectives. Embrace your introverted personality, and remember that success is not determined by your personality type alone. It’s achieved through hard work, determination, and the willingness to pursue your goals with authenticity and confidence. So, stand proud as an introvert, for you bring valuable qualities to a world that needs them just as much as extroverted traits.

FAQs

Why do people not understand introverts?

There are a few reasons why people may need help understanding introverts. 

One reason is that introverts are often more quiet and reserved than extroverts, who are more outgoing and sociable. 

This can lead to introverts being ignored, misunderstood or overlooked in certain social situations. 

Another reason is that there is a cultural bias in favor of extrovert traits, which can lead people to ignore or underestimate introverts. Additionally, some people may not understand introverts because they are unfamiliar with the concept of introversion and may assume that introverts are shy, aloof, or uninterested in socializing. 

It is important to remember that introversion is simply a personality trait and that introverts can be just as outgoing, friendly, and successful as extroverts.

Why is it so hard to talk to an introvert?

It may not be hard to talk to an introvert, but it may be different than talking to an extrovert. Introverts tend to be more reserved and may take longer to warm up to people or to express their thoughts and feelings. 

They may also prefer deeper, more meaningful conversations rather than small talk. It is important to remember that introverts are individuals and may have their own unique communication styles. 

It may be helpful to approach an introvert with respect and to be patient as they may need more time to process their thoughts and respond. It is also important to be mindful of their need for solitude and to respect their boundaries.

What drains an introvert?

Introverts tend to be drained by activities that require a lot of social interaction or mental effort, such as large parties, networking events, or long meetings. 

They may also be drained by situations that involve a lot of sensory stimulation, such as loud music or bright lights. 

Introverts need solitude and quiet time to recharge their energy, so activities that allow for solitude and reflection can help restore their energy. 

It is important for introverts to identify the activities that drain them and make time for solitude and rest to maintain their energy and well-being.

Why do introverts not have many friends?

Introverts may not have many friends for a variety of reasons. It is important to remember that everyone is different and that some people naturally have larger social circles than others. 

Introverts may simply be more selective about their friendships and may prefer smaller, more meaningful connections. They may also have fewer opportunities to meet people due to their tendency to be more reserved and prefer solitude. 

It is also possible that introverts face societal biases that value extrovert traits, making it more difficult for them to form friendships. It is important to remember that the number of friends one has is not an indicator of their worth or value as a person.

Is dating harder for introverts?

Dating can be challenging for anyone, regardless of their personality type. However, introverts may face some specific challenges when it comes to dating. 

For example, they may be more reserved and may need more time to warm up to someone new. 

They may also prefer quieter, more intimate settings for dates rather than loud, crowded places. It is important for introverts to be true to themselves and to communicate their needs and preferences to their partners. 

It may also be helpful for introverts to seek partners who understand and respect their need for solitude and quiet time. With understanding and communication, it is possible for introverts to have successful and fulfilling relationships.

Read Top 5 reasons why misfits end up winning in life.

References:

• *Verywellmind
• Quiet by Susan Cain